Why should you vote for Richard?
You should vote for Richard because…
1) He will survive to fight against SkyNET.
2) He will Free us from the Matrix.
3) He is not a Lich.
4) IF elected he will not invoke the name of Hastur
5) He will not ‘Make it’ with the Gatekeeper even if he should become the Keymaster.
6) He promises to ‘Keep it secret. Keep it safe.’
7) He knows that he is not allowed to interfere with Human history.
8) IF elected he will not take the easy path to power and join the Dark Side.
9) Unlike HAL, Richard can and will open the Pod Bay Doors!
10) He will never reveal the identity of the shooter on The Grassy Knoll.
11) He knows that the good of the many outweighs the good of the few. Or the one.
12) He will share with the world exactly where he gets those wonderful toys.
13) He will not reveal the identity of the masked man.
14) He will not feed the Mogwai after midnight or allow it to get wet.
15) He will see to it that those who need a bigger boat will get a bigger boat.
16) He is not the final Cylon.
17) He wields the Master Sword.
18) He rolls an uncanny number of natural 20s.
19) He proudly joined the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan armada.
20) He's for every one of us. Stands for every one of us. He'll save with a mighty hand every man every woman every child – with a mighty flash.
21) IF elected he will work tirelessly to ***** Dragonforce on Expert!
22) He will rename New Jersey to Liberty City.
23) He’s never gonna give you up.
24) He’s never gonna let you down.
25) He’s never gonna run around and hurt you.
26) He will allow you to skip the cinematics on Materia Summons.
27) He is down with O.P.P.
28) He is okay with the fact that the Princess is in another castle, and will not give up until she is rescued.
29) You can believe him when he says he is not a Super Sayan because he doesn't have the hair for it.
30) He knows that with Great Power comes Great Responsibility.
31) He can go all the way to 9,000 when it’s needed.
32) His goes to 11.
33) He knows what makes the rockin’ world go ‘round.
34) He graduated from Rock ‘n’ Roll High School (Magna Cum LOUD)
35) He will never put goatse on the national flag…
36) …or tubgirl.
37) He will still respect you in the morning.
38) He will let U Haz Cheezburger.
39) He will form a committee to find the truth behind ‘the cake’.
40) He is the eighth son of an eighth son of an eighth son and has the luggage to prove it.
41) He will get rid of that thing about your neighbor’s wife.
42) He is a Hoopy Frood that knows where his towel is.
43) He is not a furry.
44) He is fully aware that Nihilism just doesn’t matter.
45) He will finally open the box and show everyone the cat.
46) He knows that sometimes, the needs of the few or the one outweigh the needs of the many.
47) He will never wear spandex under any circumstances.
48) He will not eat the yellow snow.
49) He will never cancel a TV show on a cliff hanger.
50) He will not use his powers for good…he will use them for AWESOME.
Keep an eye out for the youtube video campaign we plan on rolling out later this summer.
"Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty." - Stanislaw J. Lec
1 comment:
Rock on Brother!
Post a Comment